HUGO WEAVING
First, you must prove you believe you
are the One by kicking the shit out of
me. It's a test you must endyuuuuure.

KEANU kicks the SHIT out of HUGO. He makes him explode
and then gives him the finger and breaks his sunglasses
and kicks him in the TESTICLES and decapitates him and
shoves his head back up his own BUTT. Vicariously
through KEANU, The AUDIENCE feels very BAD ASS. They
immediately buy SUNGLASSES and TRENCHCOATS and see if
they can fall backwards in slow motion to dodge BULLETS.

FILM CRITICS
What the hell was all that? Not only
was the plot absurd, but it had those
mindless typical action movie fights.
Either I'm an idiot and don't realize
that this is a sci-fi ACTION movie or
the film just plain sucks, now which
one do you think is right? Has anyone
seen the stick I had up my ass? I
can't find it.

The credits roll. All of the songs that actually ARE on
the soundtrack are now played.

Originally Posted by