An Essay I call: Pathetic Cereal
Nesquik
*Sigh*.. Nesquik really disgusts me. I'll tell you why.
First of all, their mascot, or whatever they call him, is a rabbit. A brown rabbit.
Second, the cereal is shaped like little lumpy brown balls.
Third, we ALL know what rabbit poop looks like.
My point being, they shouldn't put a rabbit, brown balls, and brown milk on the front of the box. The least they could do is make the animal a chocolate chicken, or something that doesn't defecate "Little Lumpy Brown Balls".
People may as well just go to a farm with bowls and spoon in a cow field to look for fresh pat and flavour it with chocolate powder and put it into into containers and call it "Mrs. Jones' Fresh Brand Crap".
Message to our valued customers:> Our cows work hard to produce the best flavoured food that you, our valued customers, purchase. With the help of our dedicated livestock, we may provide for you a taste like no other; a taste of divine-bovine-behind-leavebehind. Thanks for buying our products, and we hope to once again please you with Mrs. Jones Fresh Brand Bovine Crap
Come on people... You know it's all true. All you critics out there, be with me...
Cap'n Crunch
Now, about Cap'n Crunch..
Who the heck made him captain? What kind of loser would jump on a boat and hope to have a captain named "Cap'n Crunch?" What's he going to do? Sail over a sea of 2% milk and say he was attacked by "The greatest terror of the sea; a bloated milk-soaked marshmallow"? Have you ever heard one of the earlier slogans for it? "Stays crunchy! Even in milk!" My God! They make it sound stale and mouldy!
Lucky Charms
Their mascot is a green leprechaun... Need I say more?
Trix
Wow! This one I can find nothing wrong with. Yes, this cereal has a rabbit as a mascot, but at least his cereal isn't shaped like his own refuse!
Count Chocula
My god.. How cheesy...
Well people. Today you have seen Shadeblade in a very critic-like mood. Enjoy the difference while you can.:p
Nobody felt like avenging your death. Sorry.
Last edited by Shadeblade; 26-08-2005 at 11:19 PM.