If you're using Maya Cloth you should have your body as a collision object, so the hat should place itself ontop of the head when it's cached(?), but I have no idea whether it'll stay once you start moving him around. Don't really know anything about softbodies, but I think you could get away with rigging it using a few joints and add a IK Spline solver to the chain and then keyframe it bopping around...
Liter is French for 'Gimme some ****ing cola before I break vous ****ing lips!"